A long time ago I read about the angry mother who wrote to
realultimatepower.net angrily because supposedely the site
had her children bouncing off the walls trying to be ninjas
or whatever. She threatened legal action or some garbage,
I don't really remember and am too lazy to check. She complained
about how she was a single mother and had enough on her hands
trying to raise the three kids and blahbalhblahlbahblah. Now
before I get on a roll about how the internet isn't responsible
for raising your kids properly, I think there is something
more important to be established.
Deciding to have a child is a tremendous step in responsiblity.
In deciding to do so, you are presumably weighing all that
it may entail, and accepting it. This includes realizing that
circumstances may force you to raise your child (or children)
alone, whether it be due to partners splitting, someone dying
(and I apologize if I come off overly callous, I'm not an
ogre, but the point is that in having a kid you should be
prepared for the possibility of raising that child alone),
or whatever other circumstances may arise.
BUT WAIT RITZ YOU JERK ALL PREGNANCIES AREN'T PLANNED, WAY
TO GO IDIOT
Alright, fine, so not all pregnancies are planned. And I will
make concessions to a few groups: -
Couples who used contraception properly and still had a child
(these things aren't 100% after all)
- victims
of rape.
Rapists should burn in hell, and while there is the occasional
instance of a woman taking advantage of a men, generally it's
guys doing the deed. If you are that pathetic and desperate
for somewhere to put your cock, consider a meat grinder you
sick fuck.
Getting back to the point, however, if you decided to have
sex without using protection and got a kid as a result, that's
your responsibility all the same. This goes for both the guys
and the gals, and on a side note I sympathize with the fact
that in these situations more often than not it's the woman
who gets screwed over if the guy intends to jump ship.
So ok, after all this rambling the point being - if you had
a kid, barring a few exceptions, you've taken on a big mantle
of responsibility. The key thing here being YOU. Not websites,
not tv shows, not commercials, not that skanky hoe down on
the corner of the block who walks around without wearing a
bra (incidently can I have her number?). YOU are responsible
for your child's upbringing. As a result of this amazingly,
brutally simple fact, I, on behalf of the people in this world
who actually have brains, request the following:
1) Quit your bitching about sex and violence on tv. If this
bothers you, and if you think it is having a negative impact
on your child, then hey, there are things you can do about
it that don't involve ruining it for everyone else who was
capable of growing up and at the same time making the distinction
between tv and reality. Lots of cable companies offer the
means to restrict what your child can view, or hey here's
an idea, if you're so worried how about not owning a tv? Surely
if you care so greatly about your child you are willing to
sacrifice your own tv viewing for their benefit. Oh wait,
but that means daddy can't stay up to watch the playboy channel
when everyone else has gone to bed, darn, better blame society
then.
2) If you are the parent of a stupid idiotic child who is
likely to translate Quake into real life, try not owning both
video games AND guns. Here's how the logic works:
- Your child is stupid, and after playing a video game in
which he/she shoots things, thinks that this would be a good
idea in real life.
a) You own a gun, which your stupid child is aware of. Your
stupid child then proceeds to acquire this gun while you are
busy whacking off to the playboy channel, and shoots another
kid. Because you are a hick gun lover with no brain yourself
(and I guess this explains why we can't expect much out of
the kid) you decide that it was the game's fault and not yours
or the fact that you had A WEAPON CAPABLE OF KILLING PEOPLE
IN THE SAME HOUSE AS A CHILD.
b)
You do not own a gun. Your stupid child, lacking any real
firearms, is forced to go grab his dinky squirt gun and spray
some kid in the crotch to make it look like they pissed themselves.
Embarassing, but not nearly as unfortunate an alternative.
3) Unlike television, the internet actually has some useful
functions, and it's not nearly as realistic as to say "keep
your child off the net" as it is to say "don't let your kid
watch tv" (although this one isn't all that likely to succeed
anyhow). That being said, YOU are still the one responsible
for what great boost for this thing known as "freedom of speech".
Read that carefully, I didn't say "freedom of speech except
what might be considered morally improper by hicks and stupid
parents". If I want to devote a site to the pleasure of licking
cow testicles and then rubbing the saliva all over my nipples,
that's entirely my right (er... not that I would do such a
thing... ahem). You probably don't have the time to watch
your kids all the time on the net, but again, there are filters
for these things, and while they obviously aren't a 100% solution,
you should certainly be using them regardless if what's on
the net worries you. But seriously, if it's REALLY REALLY
BOTHERING YOU, well tough shit, you are just going to have
to keep your kid off the net while you aren't around until
they are old enough to surf on their own. Incidently, that
leads to my next point...
4) Don't try to hide the world forever. Kids are going to
find shit whether you want them to or not, it's just a matter
of when. And while I am not going to tell you when you should
"sit down with your kid", try to keep in mind that you can't
pretend it's all peaches and smiley faces. We've had porn
for a good number of decades now, and for all you women worrying
about how porn objectifies you well hey, you still have the
vote. Some people seem neurotic about admitting that everyone
out there has genitals. Well tough shit, we've all got the
bits and pieces, I have a penis and if I choose to make lots
of jokes and write articles about it well woohah forme, I'm
not going to censor comments about my dick just because it
makes you feel quesy and you want your kid growing up thinking
everyone looks like a mannequin.
5) This last one isn't to current parents, but to potential
ones. Read the following list and carefully consider which
apply to you:
- You think God should be brought back to the classroom, and
should also be meshed heavily with politics.
- You like guns. A lot. You have a large collection of them,
and are always interested in buying more. Laws that prohibit
automatic weapons distress you, and the idea of anti-gun legislation
makes you cringe and howl.
- You think the youth of today is going to hell and that it's
the damn drugs they keep doing that are responsible. You support
the war on drugs, thinking it is a valiant, noble effort,
and you hope that one day we'll really "clean up the streets".
- You think life is money, and devote all your time and energy
to the pursuit of the mighty dollar. You pay little attention
to the world in regards to anything that doesn't affect your
business, and a day relaxing at home is in your mind a day
wasted.
- You think Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and other
such pop "artists" are actually musicians.
- You believe WWE Wrestling is real.
- You think yellow track pants look cool. If any of these
things apply to you, then please, please, PLEASE FOR FUCK
SAKES DO NOT HAVE KIDS.
-Ritz
