Hello friends.
I
was going to let out a rant on the subject of women with this
little piece of writing, but decided to tuck that nugget away
for another day. More importantly, I was struck by a much
more entertaining and interesting issue - plots in porn movies.
A good deal of pornography is pretty straightforward, pizza
man comes to door, says nice place, chick is like "yeah, the
bedroom is really big too" - enough said. But occaisonally
you get those movies that go beyond the simple easy premises
and seem to strive for something beyond anal penetration and
five minute blowjobs. It is these movies that are the subject
of my amusement today.
A
lot of the time this can just be tedious and annoying, but
I can't deny a certain fascination once in a while when they
really are trying to add a little bit of actual movie to what
they're doing. Like there was this one with pirates in it,
I don't really remember the title or anything, but the point
is it had pirates and at one point there's this mediocore
sword fight and I'm watching it and thinking "hey these guys
actually look like they're enjoying themselves". It then struck
me that perhaps these plot diversions are essential for some
of the actor's/actress's happiness. Since the reality is that
most people fucking in your typical porn movie aren't really
enjoying themselves all that much, or so I am lead to believe
at least, they probably relish those occaisonal moments in
time where they actually get called on to act. In a few cases
there are probably some of them still in denial who think
they'll make it as a "real" actor/actress.
Now while all this is charming, it can go too far. If I'm
watching porn I don't want to deal with fifteen minutes of
dialogue ok? Let's be reasonable, a five minute fight seen,
a cop chasing down some guy (preferably a chick so there's
an easy transition) or some sort of dramatic finish is an
acceptable plot allotment. I'm sure to some people at this
point some people are feeling at least some degree of disgust
and/or pity towards me, but hey, if I'm watching porn I like
to think my motives are pretty clear and honest, and no one
with half a brain is going to be fooled into thinking otherwise.
And for those of you that find porn in general disgusting,
well, your own fault for reading something that obviously
does not pertain to your interests. So yeah, less plot and
more clit or something.
-Ritz
